Rachel Halls childhood was a strangulation, everything she knew herself to be was locked in a chokehold of compression by the hands of her parents, teachers, bullies, friends and systems that forces our compliance. Growing up, aspects of her life sucked, outwardly it looked great, like nice wallpaper over a badly plastered and cracked wall but inside she was lost, anxious and desperate to succeed; the good girl, good student, good friend, all a façade held together by a promise that never delivered because inside I was miserable.

From the poverty of inner-city working class Birmingham to the success of a university degree and dreams fulfilled ... her life became the outwards projection of attainment and success, driven to do well and excel to be the good girl that would bring the love and acceptance she so craved. But no matter what, the stench of her poverty-riddled upbringing always filled the air; like a dog mess stuck to the bottom of a shoe, trodden into the fabric of our life, the stench follows us everywhere.

Drowning in the determination of proving her worth, all that effort to show how good she could be, the dead weight of social security dragging her down until it nearly consumed her.

This book recounts many aspects of her childhood and formative years, the events and people that shaped who she was to become and why ...